Deepavali Break

I hate this feeling on a Sunday night, after a long ,well-deserved break, because I really dont want to go back to reality.

Anyways, my life has been quite repetitive recently, and it just feels like I got nothing much to blog about, besides still trying to get through degree life, work, college, occasional mini outings with my family and yy, everything else pretty much feels stagnant.

Sometimes, its just because I dont have inspiration to write. Not like how i used to at least.

Well,Im just glad to have this one week break, much needed i must say, and the best part, Wednesday and Saturday were public holidays, which means no need for me too work on those days. It almost never happens this way.

I cleared my room, all my accessories, clothes, paperwork, etc and it made me feel great. Plus, my sister was also at home, which feels nostalgic because for the past 4 years+ We were rarely at home for holidays at the same time due to college.

I just had the time of my life, having some alone time, went out with yy, organizing most of my things, and just relaxing, I slept alot. I watched Scandal, as recommended by Melissa, and though the storyline is great and the drama is appealing, I couldnt continue watching it because I don’t ship the ”main couple” because its just so wrong on so many levels, and I find it really repulsive. I mean, i dont find it ”sweet” because EXCUSE ME, Sir you are married with 3 children, so please keep your pants zipped. And it was getting in the way of the main plot. Therefore i did not continue. I stopped at Season 2 lol.

Its a good show, I love so many characters, just not the relationship of those.

Okay before all the fans and shippers go berserk on me, let me just reiterate that I dont like it, and im not gonna continue watching it anymore, and this will be the last time im discussing it.

Moving on, guess I should stop here and go to bed, its 1240am now, and my body clock is messed up because of the unhealthy pattern i had this week.

sigh, so much to do after today, gotta catch up on my notes, start studying and MPU projects, and look! its November already. Where did all the time go anyway.Its halloween next week by the way. Movie night with siblings! 🙂

Lots of challenges ahead, and i just cant wait for this year to be over. Cause of some work reasons. I hope to hear a good answer and not what i imagine soon, Im relying on your promise. 😦 I hope you come back.

Up to fate.*crossing my fingers*



Is it worth it

I had to rant about this ( i had a semi-rant on my dayre already haha) , a friend of mine asked me that day “do you think what you’re doing is worth it?”

it had me thinking a bit.

Sometimes i do get upset when people give me weird expressions and they ask me why cant i just NOT do it. Sigh, and they’ll tell me how they just spend their holidays enjoying life and as if im torturing myself willingly

well, i dont think these people will ever understand and i dont even bother explaining to them, but i know that what im doing, it will benefit me in the future, and one day, i’ll be glad and grateful i chose to do it. Anyway, right now in my shoes, i dont think i have the capacity to reject the offers, i can, but i dont want to because i need it to help out financially, i sure as hell wont wanna burden my parents, and seeing them work so hard for the past few years, just makes me want to strive further for ever.

i work for extra allowance, and people tell me wont  that mean you have alot to use now? NO. i still spend the same way i used to, and yes i save up for my future.

this helps them and it helps me and it helps the children and teenagers i teach, so its a win-win situation to me.

So why not?

Its weird because while doing this job, i feel i like i somehow get to still hold on to school life and still know what’s going on in the highschool syllabuses. It’s enriching to me, and i just feel like teaching the kids, seeing them improve can be one of the most satisfying feelings ever.

yes it can be tiring and frustrating at times, and when my student(s) dont put their hearts in doing their work it does upset me but in the end, it will be worth it, and to answer your question my dear friend,

Yes, it is worth it to me. 🙂




The days when i work has easily taken over as the days i dislike the most in a week.

For now i dislike Saturdays and Mondays because those days are when i have lots of stuff to do. Work included.

Ever since a year or 2 ago, ive started disliking Saturdays alot because i had to do my job and i practically cannot do anything on saturdays in terms of Rotaract activities, trainings, anything interesting that would USUALLY fall on saturdays, i wouldnt be able to make it.Sadly.

But this is a job, and i need to be responsible. I feel bad having to reject so many things that fall on saturday mornings, especially rotaract activities as sometimes they really require my presence, but i just HAD to reject them, all of them.

However, i dont think i can avoid this for long, as i heard that there will be classes here and there soon later in degree that would fall on saturdays 😦 by then i would have to reschedule everything, and it will be a big fat mess..

It worries me sometimes, but i just hope and pray that those classes would be on saturday afternoons or nights even i dont mind, just please dont clash with my work :(( and also hope it would just be temporary…

I hate worrying about the future, but i always do.Who doesnt, right?

Mondays are okay, except for the fact that i have full day classes and i would have to rush home for a class. That makes me a bit.. frustrated. other than that, its fine.

In a nutshell, i do not hate my job, i just hate the timing, i wish i could have more time to do more activities that fall on saturday mornings.

sighh, i really hope i can see how am i coping in my future.

Hope there isnt much of a mess.




They dont understand

Sometimes, well most of the time, people do not and will not understand. The personal feelings one goes through and personal challenges every individual faces, its really not up to anybody to judge.

For me, im starting to learn how to make my own decisions, without relying on anyone else, i was always afraid, what others think, and what they would say.

Nobody should influence my decisions and in the end, its solely my choice and as long as i know what i am doing, i will continue on with my decision.

What right do YOU  have to verbally abuse me while you have done so much that hurt your family name and disgust people around you. Please spare us your bullshit and i cant wait for your fall. What you did today and few days before was really the last straw. Liar

I dont want to be pulled down by others’ opinions any more and i would not let them.


Just an Update

Its been a few months since my last post. Time is really an issue here,  Its slipping out of my hands like running water. It feels like 2013 is still fresh, but look now, its already December. Everyone left and right feels the same, and at one point people cant help but sigh and say “ time flies”

Im bored of that statement but it’s the reality here.

I don’t feel as productive as I should be, but then again thinking back I was just so busy during the last few months, getting things done, homework , housework, studying furiously, AS exams and right after, CLASSES for the next semester.

There  really isn’t much time to myself, everyday it’s the same routine, things to be done, and by the end of the day it would be too late to do anything else.The days sometimes just gets so frustrating… But all in all, in the end, I hope it will be worth it.

This is college life. Mine to say the least.

Alright so for the past few months, heres what went on. Dating back to around July I started my driving lessons and I got my driver’s license in October. It was quite a struggle for me, and I had to resit for the exam..but in the end, I got it anyway.. phew all within the time frame before I had to renew the learner’s license, which was great.

There was Mock exams in August and September got pretty busy for me , since Revision classes were commencing, and also preparations for finals.

I joined the Rotaract Club of my college as the vice secretary because there was a slot and the board of directors were kind of in need of filling the slot. Since some of my friends were involved I decided to take up the position.

Thus, the Installation was held on the same month as well! And after that it was all preparing , studying and revising for the upcoming final law papers. It was downright tedious and surprisingly I was studying much more than I did for my SPM papers..

Anyway , Law papers ended in the beginning of October but WAIT the examination drags on all the way until beginning of November. 4 papers spread out more than a month. Thankfully, accounting papers ended earlier compared to the Literature students.

In between these times, my cousin Amily had a sleepover for a few days, and my room had a makeover as we finally got a bunkbed , which made me really happy.

Also, I finally got a smartphone which now allows me to communicate better with my peers and all. It’s a Sony Xperia L and I’ve been waiting for some time for it. FINALLY ITS HERE!

I found it really hard to concentrate after Law papers had ended, plus my new smartphone really kept me up so many nights and I just wouldn’t let it go and all… simply addicting.

In the end, the accounting and business papers were over as well, and I flew to Hong Kong for a few days right after  my exams ended for a family vacation. A wonderful experience I must say, except for the attitude of the people here and there, which were really really..well.. different. Not to my taste.

After coming back , there wasn’t much after that really, it was a few days of break and WOOP back to classes.. sadly.. I didn’t have it as bad as the Literature students though who had to start classes like 4 days after their last paper haha..

There was a Rotaract club project after that as well, Florence’s RAK project and the first Rotaract Club meeting, which went on pretty smoothly.

After that it was back to normal boring classes again and we were just getting sick of it. Day after day we yearn for a break and after a long year, we finally got our Christmas break, it lasts for about 10 days and this brings us to where we are right now.

Its going to be 2014 really soon and i feel miserable yet excited at the same time. Weird oxymoron feelings .. okay.. so yeah, part of me wants to move on quickly to finish my degree and all but part of me just dislikes the process and dreads to move on so quickly.

Anyways so that should be the update til December 2013 and i will come out with a new years resolution post really soon J

Till then, Im out!



Next Chapter

Woop,it’s been a while yes i know.

Its almost the middle of May now.A lot of things has been going on these days and of course since my last blogpost.

I’d always always wanted to keep this blog updated and what not but all these distractions and of course i got a little busy here and there occasionally.

Since it’s already May,I can safely say that Im quite loving the life i have right now, as mentioned in my previous blog post, my real college life starts after April.

Yes i got my SPM results already, and I also went through my Piano Exams grade 8 retake.

So right now,im just doing the typical routines, going to college everyday and all that.To be honest im getting sick of the college routine, but I still have to go on with it.

Its a new chapter of my life now and i think i should rethink and set some goals to achieve.Not just going through the days day by day doing the same things.Life should be colourful,exciting,enjoyable,so why am i wasting my life away?I’m 18 this year, and being in this bubbly,adventurous,lively age, i should be using my time wisely and being productive and all that.I need to start pursuing something that i love.Gotta think hard bout it.shucks, i hate this feeling.

Sometimes i hate it when i slow down and start being unproductive ,all those plans i made to do after my piano exams,they’re just not being done.this has to stop.haha

So,being the unproductive lazy fart that i am right now,all i can say is i hope that it changes soon and yeah im excited to start this new chapter of my life but then again it has to be organized.

Many things to look forward to ahead,and i hope nothing gets in the way.

Good luck to me and GET ORGANIZED,Girl. Next chapter!