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A letter to my Grandpa

Dear Gong Gong,

I’m officially 19 now! time flies doesn’t it? I really miss you although you’ve been gone for so many years.

Sometimes I do think and imagine, what it’s like if you were still around.

They say that you loved me a lot, and I was really close to you, I was at the time your favorite and you loved to carry me a lot. I was only 5 years old, but i vaguely remember some memories, like how you used to always give me sweets despite my mother’s constant nagging about it. Also how you’ll try to ‘save’ me from punishments from her too.

I didn’t understood when they told me you’re gone. I asked my aunt, ” why are you crying?” but she just hugged me and continued to cry even harder. I didn’t know the meaning of death, nor did I know you were suffering. If only I did, I would’ve tried to make you happier, even just cheer you up a little to make the pain and suffering a little easier.

I remember daddy carrying me to see you and he asked me to call you once again. I dont even remember when was the last time I saw you. I was too young to remember.

As I grew older, naturally i grew to get used to everything. To be honest I didn’t really fell anything about it, until recently.

This year, I finally visited your grave after so many years. I hope you were happy to see how much I grew. I’m a big girl now, as tall as mommy already, and in college. In a few more years, i’ll be working and hopefully I get to start my own family.

How would things be if you were here? Everyone would be happier right? The house would be more lively.Would I have made the mistakes I’ve made? would you have guided me through all the silly things I did? Maybe daddy and mommy wouldn’t have to worry so much, maybe Po Po would be happier. I could turn out to be more spoiled, I don’t know, but I hope you’ll still be proud of me.

Maybe you would’ve liked the food I made, or even the cupcakes and pastries, maybe you could’ve brought us out for supper, or maybe you could even bring me to school for my volleyball training when Daddy’s busy. I imagine all these, but in reality, it’s just not the same. It’s interesting to imagine.

Nonetheless, I knew you are a great grandpa and the cool kind too.

If only you could meet yy, would you be overprotective of me? I wished I could’ve seen your reaction when you found out.

Well, it’s been 14 years now, life still creeps at it’s own pace.

I wonder if you’re watching over me all the time. I know daddy misses you everyday, as he still mentions about it sometimes, and I can see the look in his eyes.

But don’t worry about us, Gong Gong, We’re fine and happy. Small challenges wont bring us down. 🙂