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Things happen

Its almost a month since I’ve last updated ey? Bet you think you’ve seen the last of me haha but im back for awhile here.

Anyways, how’s life? Not so good lately. I’ve faced some challenges that ive never thought i¬†would actually happen in my life. Not anything life threatening ( thank goodness for that) but just life changing to me.

A small thing leads to another and slowly its a whole circle of mess.

Things are more calm now though, and it was quite tough, and i finally understand now how something so important to you can influence your life. We dont feel it’s importance on every other day because we take it for granted, but when something snaps and it falls apart, it just hits ground low, and it affects you in every way possible to the point where i just couldn’t concentrate at anything and just push everything to the side.

Which can be impression-damaging, especially when you’re dealing with societies and other responsibilities.

Also a HUGE TIP : Do NOT believe decisions made rashly especially after a heated argument.

Learnt it the hard way. But since there’s a first time for everything, i guess i have to take it as a learning process.

There are days where i just feel like i’m nothing and so numb that i just.. cant get myself to do anything at all. I hated those feelings i felt especially these few days, and its just such a pain in the neck. Absolute resentment.

Everything isnt 100% solved yet, but i just have to stay positive, however, thank goodness it’s slowly subsiding. It has to, i dont want to feel like this anymore. And I also realized how pessimistic i actually am.

I want the warmth i feel again, the carefree days and just focusing on one thing, look forward to another and have everything planned out, however, in the midst of my freedom and own selfish happiness, i neglected the happiness of someone who actually needed it the most. its so unfair and im so sorry for everything , everything that lead to what happened that day.

Also to my senpais, and everyone else, i apologize for the crazy arrangements leading to this week’s activity. Its just.. some miscommunication going on and i should’ve settled things in a better manner.

Another tip : CALM DOWN BEFORE MAKING ANY FURTHER DECISIONS

Gosh, i just hope everything goes back to normal soon, please, just hope everything turns out right.

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